It's no secret our relationship didn't start off as an easy one. Actually, I shouldn't say that. It was easy for us, not so much for other people. We both had been in bad marriages before we met. David had been seperated for a few years already, but I was freshly seperated and not really looking. I made a stupid decision at 18 to get married to the person I dated in high school. I was stubborn and wouldn't listen to everyone telling me it was a bad idea. I found out the hard way, as that person ended up hurting me in more ways than one, and when I look back, the signs were all there long before we got married, I just chose to ignore them. So, needless to say, when I started dating David only a few months after my break up, some people were skeptical. I think it mostly had to do with our age difference, because that's what I heard "gossiped" about a lot. It's funny though, so many people we worked with would come up to me and be like "OMG..you and David? That totally makes sense. You guys are perfect for eachother!". It's true. We are.
What most people don't know, don't care to know, or choose not to believe is, we were friends long before we started dating. I should clarify, we were work friends. Although he was seperated at the time, I wasn't. I think because I was in such a bad relationship, I kind of looked to David as the guy I wish my husband at the time was like. David just has a way about him. He's very friendly and outgoing. He's super hilarious, and very much a gentlemen. I remember coming into work and hearing him say "Hi gorgeous!", or things like that. That's how he is..I wasn't the only person he said them to, that's just kind of how he greets people. He made me look forward to going to work. Yeah, my home life was bad. I confided in him about things that were going on, and I think that's what made us more than just work friends. We never hung out or anything outside of work until I was seperated, but the fact that he was the one who I was confiding in brought us closer. I can honestly say, I never felt he had intentions of dating me or anything like that. I know he didn't. He always respected that I was with someone else, and never once told me "Oh you should leave him and get divorced" or anything like that. He was genuinely concerned for my safety and knew I didn't have anyone to help me. My parents were stationed in Virginia at the time, and I felt like if I told them, they would think I was irresponsible and couldn't handle things by myself.
So, to make a very long story sort of short..I did get out of the relationship I was in. I took about two months to kind of be by myself. By that I mean, hanging out with friends every night, pulling all nighters, probably drinking more than I should (I shouldn't have been at all actually since I was 20. Oops! :). I felt a little bit out of control. I realized I was never meant to be one of those girls. David and I started having totally platonic movie nights, lunch dates, stuff like that. Then, on one of those movie nights, we talked for hours. Him sitting on his couch, me about five feet away in his leather chair. He asked me to come sit by him on the couch and I did. This lead to our first kiss. Aww. So, I guess you could say that's when we officially became a couple. There were a few bumps in the road after that, where we weren't sure if our timing was right. But, it obviously worked out, led to many wonderful date nights, trips together, and the most romantic engagement ever. Ok, I'm biased, so what. Then of course, we made it official on October 1, 2006 at 4:00 pm. Then..we sailed away for seven days to Mexico. Bliss.
Now, it's five years later. While I'm not where I thought I would be after five years, my marriage has kind of exceeded my expectations. There have been ups and downs, no marriage is without those. But, we've come out of those even stronger than ever. We've been through more than most couples have in five years..and technically most of it happened within the first three years. There's been illness, both with me and with family members which effected us, a devastating miscarriage and grueling fertility treatments, trust issues, financial issues, and I'm sure more stuff I can't think of at the moment. Obviously, that's a lot to deal with. But we did it. There's no one else I would rather go through those things with than David. He knows how to be there for me, and he's been amazing through it all. It's not a secret that I struggle a lot with anxiety, and I can admit it I had a huge mental breakdown last summer after an encounter with my biological father. It triggered a lot of things from my childhood and pretty much rocked me to the core. It's something I'm still dealing with and continue to get help for. David has been so supportive through everything, I just really can't express it enough.
He can calm me down like no one can. There's been times where I've been in full on anxiety attacks and he's just held me and talked me through it. I don't think I'll ever know how I got so lucky..to share my life with someone who loves me as much as he does, who tells me that on a daily basis, who's my #1 fan, who thinks all the nerdy things about me are cute, who holds me when I need it, and stays away from me when I need it.
Of course there's times where we get on eachothers nerves. It's not all sunshine and rainbows all the time. Marriage is work. Anyone who thinks it won't take work, that it's all just gonna be romantic all the time, talk to people who have been married awhile before you walk down the aisle. Don't let the trials get you down, don't bail on it when things aren't perfect.
A wise man once told me (that wise man is my husband), that sometimes it's a choice. You're not always going to feel loving. You're not always going to feel like sharing or serving (and the serving goes for the husband AND wife). The honeymoon stage will end. You're going to be pissed sometimes. Frustrated. Angry as hell. Those are the times when you have to choose to love. Choose to serve. Choose to be committed. Choose to stay.
I thought it was genius. And I'm glad he's mine.
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