I will never forget. I will always remember.

Ten years. Wow. I can't believe it's been that long. It definitely does feel that way, but then again, when I think about that tragic day..I remember all the details like it was just yesterday.

I was 16 years old. I would fall asleep with my tv on every night after watching Conan O'Brien. I was doing high school through independant study at the time, so I didn't have to wake up early for school like most kids did that day. Except I did. I can vividly remember hearing my mom on the phone in the other room, but was in that half asleep, half awake mode. It was also not even 7:00 am so I was in that grouchy in the morning teenager mode (Ok, I never grew out of that phase). I was facing the opposite side of the room that my tv was on, but I rolled over and because the channel I had been watching the night before was NBC, the Today Show was showing live footage of the World Trade Center. At that point, only the first tower had been hit and they weren't sure what was going on. I was kind of confused, and well, still half asleep, and I remember thinking it was like a movie or something. So I tried to fall back asleep. A few minutes later I remember my mom coming into my room. She was on the phone with my dad, who was in San Diego at the time for some classes he had to take for his job.

I remember her crying, and saying "She sleeps with her tv on, I don't want her waking up to this". Well, of course after hearing that, I was awake. I sat up out of bed and turned to the tv to see footage of the second plane that had just hit moments before. I remember asking my mom what was happening. She said we were being attacked by terrorists. So, after fully waking up and sitting there in bed watching it, realizing what exactly was going on, I immediately thought of my family back East. My Uncle John, who worked in lower Manhattan. My cousin Richie, a lawyer who worked in one of the towers. My cousin Barbara, also a lawyer who worked in Manhattan. I remember my mom and I trying to call my grandparents in Connecticut, they live only about half an hour from the city. We wanted to know if everyone was ok. If maybe by chance no one had made it in to the city that day. We couldn't reach anyone. All the phone lines were down. I was able to make contact with my Aunt that night via e-mail, and my Uncle had been running late for work that day. He never made it into the city. My cousin Richie worked in the second tower, but got out when the plane hit the first tower. He walked over 80 blocks before he was able to get to a phone to call his wife, who had just given birth to their first child only a few weeks prior.

I remember just being glued to the tv all of that day, and for days after. The horror of watching those towers fall is something that still gives me goosebumps. It has forever changed me, as well as many others. I think before 9/11, I had a very innocent way of looking at the world. I just didn't believe in bad things.

Since the age of 6, after my first trip to NYC, I've had kind of a love affair with that city. It is amazing. It is beautiful. It is strong. It is still all of those things, and so much more. It holds a huge space in my heart, and so does 9/11. I will never forget the way people came together that day. The kindness that people showed towards one another. The way others risked their lives to help others. I think too many people have forgotten, and it shouldn't take another terrorist attack to bring out the goodness in people.

In 2008, I was lucky enough to be able to visit the amazing city of New York with my husband. We did all the touristy things of course, Broadway, Times Square, Statue of Liberty. We had all of them planned out and purchased tickets before we went. But we made sure we set aside a few hours to visit Ground Zero. A lot of people questioned me when I told them we were going. "Why would you want to see that?". "That's kind of morbid, don't you think?". Well, my answer to that is WHY WOULDN'T I WANT TO SEE IT? Why wouldn't I want to pay my respects to the thousands of people who lost their lives? It's just one of those things that I think everyone should see. Especially now, with the beautiful new memorial. It was still a hole in the ground when we were there. It was very surreal. To be standing up in this viewing area looking down at what is, a grave site. I remember having chills, and just crying. A lot of people that were in there were talking very loudly, and were standing over by the window having pictures taken of themselves smiling. I found it disturbing. I don't even know if David and I really spoke words to each other while in there. We were just very solemn, and peaceful.

Today, as I sit here, cuddled up on the couch with my husband, shedding tears with him while watching the memorials and shows, I will squeeze his hand a little tighter and be so thankful that I have someone to love and who loves me. I'm not thinking about financial issues, or health problems, or what I don't have. I'm thinking of what I do have, and grieving for those that lost their loved ones that day who wish they were doing what I'm doing right now with them.


I saw this commercial today during the memorial, and it had me in tears for a few minutes. It's so touching, and it's also one of my favorite songs :) No place in the world that can compare...