Eat. Pray. Love.

I saw this movie today with my mom. I have to say..I got choked up a few times. Not out of sadness, but out of happiness I think. This woman was saying things to herself that I have said word for word in my head. I think for a good part of my adulthood (not that I'm THAT old)..I've felt lost. Looking for something to define me. I've always thought all I ever wanted was marriage and babies. Well let me clarify..a GOOD marriage..and babies. I don't want the kind of marriage where after you have the kids, that's all you talk about is the kids. I cherish the conversations I have with my husband. Now, babies. Babies has been a struggle for those of you who know me well. Even those of you who don't. I'm not very shy on the topic. You can't be. After you've been married 4 years and turn 25, it kind of becomes a topic everyone asks you about. "So, when are you having a baby?". Boy, you don't know what you're in for after asking me that.

I finally decided a few months ago to just let it all go. It's not in my control, so why have I been acting like it is this whole time? How the heck could having a baby be in my control? There's no way. So, I finally accepted that it will happen if it's supposed to. In the mean time, I want to enjoy life. I want to EAT, PRAY, and LOVE. I consider myself to be a very lucky woman. I have such an amazing husband. We're usually pretty in sync. We share so many of the same interests. We have great conversations. We truly enjoy eachothers company, we really do. Watching this movie, this movie that at times could be devastating, and at other times reminded me so much of myself, made me think so much of myself, and my husband. Ever since I was little, I've wanted to travel. France, Ireland, England, Italy, Germany, Japan, India, Australia...all places I've dreamed of going. I didn't care how I got there, I just knew one day I was going. Well, one day I will. But it won't be alone, it will be with him <3

I still don't know exactly what defines me yet. Or really if anything is supposed to define me. I just know I'm happy being me. Being his wife. Being somewhat of an artist (in my eyes, at least), being happy, being loved, being funny, being well traveled (for now, I think compared to most people my age I've been to alot of great places so far), being an unperfect perfectionist, being..Tiffany Van Ingen :)

September 11

I don't have much to write about today. I feel that complaining about laundry and packing for my trip is trivial compared to what today is. September 11th is still so fresh in my mind, but unfortunately it seems like it's the farthest thing from a lot of people's these days. I will never forget where I was, what I felt, how scared I was, wondering what was happening, why would people do this to us. I also am originally from the East Coast. I was born in Connecticut, and have family there and in New York. A cousin actually who worked in the second building that was hit. An Uncle who worked close to WTC. My husband and I visited the WTC site two years ago, and I'm glad we did. This is an exceprt from a speech President George W. Bush gave, and I've always admired these words:

"Great harm has been done to us. We have suffered great loss. And in our grief and anger we have found our mission and our moment. Freedom and fear are at war. The advance of human freedom -- the great achievement of our time, and the great hope of every time -- now depends on us. Our nation, this generation will lift a dark threat of violence from our people and our future. We will rally the world to this cause by our efforts, by our courage. We will not tire, we will not falter, and we will not fail."

I hope everyone takes time out of their day today to say a prayer for the victims and their families.

NEVER FORGET.

Fun Mail & Sore Knees

After a long and busy day spent in Fresno for Dr appointments, and squeezed in a nice dinner and some window shopping with the hubby, I came home and while fumbling around trying to turn my cell phone light on so David could see the keyhole in the door (we always forget to turn the porch light on before we leave), I stumbled on a package on the front steps. I had totally forgotten my mom told me to expect a package from my sweet grandmother. I always get so excited and have to rush inside and open it before I do anything else. It was a package full of books to help with painting. I love it! A few months ago she sent me a bunch of stuff to paint with watercolors. I love painting and I'm positive I get this from my very talented grandma who among her many other hobbies, is an amazing painter. I think the books are just what I need to get me motivated to paint more. After all, my Monday nights just opened up now that the craziness that is The Real Housewives of New Jersey has ended it's season. :) I'm sure David would love a painting for our upcoming wedding anniversary.

I saw my Orthopedist today for another follow up since my knee surgery. He said the scars should lighten up a bit...I sure hope so, they're still pretty dark and not very pretty. Still have to wear the ugly brace, and no bending, twisting, squatting, running (haha like I do that anyway). It's been a month since I had the surgery to repair my torn menescus, and it looks a whole lot better, but there's one area that's still a little swollen. I've learned not to bend too far or squat the hard way..since I've been off the crutches and walking really good now, sometimes it's hard to forget and I'll squat down to pick something up, like I did this morning, and OUCH! Sharp shooting pains, and then it's sore for the whole day. It's definitely a process, still learning my limits I guess. Physical Therapy is a whole other story...I feel like they are there just to torture me LOL :)

Trying to get motivated!

Okay, I realize it's been soo long since I've posted. I've had a few people send e-mails checking up. It's been a CRAZY six months. Truth is, writing really helps me feel better about things so I don't really know why I haven't done so on here. But I want to! This is me committing to writing a blog at least once a week..yes..once a week! Stay tuned...