What a crazy ride IVF is. I thought I knew what to expect..wrong! It was more than I ever imagined. Three shots a day in the stomach, blood tests and ultrasounds in Clovis almost every other day, raging hormones, pills that you don't take orally (use your imagination), not to mention so much anxiety. But hey, whatever works, right?
August 14th I had the egg retrieval. I was nervous, as I am anytime I have to be put to sleep. But it was nothing compared to my previous five hour surgeries followed by three or more hours in recovery in and out of sleep from all the drugs. Nope! I was in and out of the OR in about half an hour, and only took me a few minutes to wake up and I wasn't groggy at all. In fact, the hubs and I left the hospital, went and had lunch in the Tower District, walked around a few shops until we couldn't handle them not having a/c, then we hit up Babies R Us and Target and went home. I was pretty bloated and crampy which they said was normal, but it didn't last more than a day or two. They retrieved nine eggs and fertilized them that day.
On the 17th, I had the transfer. This day didn't go quite as I planned. We had been under the impression that David would be allowed in the room as they did it, but that wasn't the case. I also was bummed that morning to find out that we only had three good embryos. The day after the retrieval, the doctor called and said out of the nine, four were continuing to grow and divide like they should. I was happy about that, as we had planned to transfer two and freeze two in case the first try was unsuccessful, or for a Baby #2 if it was succesful. It might sound strange, but coming from a Pro-Life standpoint, my husband and I were both praying for a lower number of embryos. We both felt uncomfortable knowing that sometimes you can get more than ten and freeze them. We knew we wouldn't use all of them, and had signed a waiver to donate them, rather than discard them. But we were concerned with what donating actually meant. Would they thaw them for another couple who was in worse shape than us, but then only use the "best quality" and discard the others? Would they use them for something we are against, such as stem cell research? Well, God answered our prayers and we were happy with four. But that morning when he said we only had three, I couldn't help but be upset. If transfering two didn't work, would I be confidant that our frozen single embryo would? I made the decision to transfer all three. I was given a lecture on the risk of multiples and had to make it known that I am totally against selective reduction. If God wanted us to have three babies, that's his Will.
So after going over all of this, they moved me into a procedure room. I had an extremely full bladder after they made me drink three water bottles and was quite uncomfortable. But I tried to stay relaxed as I didn't want these precious embryos entering a stressed enviornment. The transfer was very quick, and I was quite relieved when the Doctor inserted a catheter and I could feel relief as my bladder drained. Yes, the weirdest things make me excited. Although, not as excited as knowing I now was housing three embryos :) I had to say in the room for about 20 minutes in this crazy bed thing with my legs spread and tilted way up. Then I was moved into recovery where David joined me, and had to lay in a bed with my head down and legs up for about another hour. I was released and we went to David's mom's house so I could continue to lay down, per Doctor's orders. He got me a yummy lunch at Olive Garden and I slept pretty much off and on the rest of the day since I hadn't gotten much the night before due to nerves.
Well..let's fast forward through those almost two weeks of anxiety and wondering and craziness to August 28th. I'm sure you can imagine 11 days of knowing you have embryos in you but not knowing if they implanted is quite frusterating. Not to mention three days after the transfer I developed a bladder infection, which added to my stress because I was so worried it would cause problems.
Well..it didn't! August 28th we went to Clovis early in the AM for my blood test. About two and a half hours later we recieved the call..We're Pregnant!! Ahhh!! I was seriously shocked. I don't know why..I've stated before that I totally felt led by God to pursue this, and felt Him there with us during the whole process. But let's face it, I'm a woman, and when things don't go exactly as planned, it throws you off track. So with only having the three and none left to work with if it didn't work, David not being allowed in the room, the bladder infection, I had started to worry that this wasn't going to work. I don't consider myself a negative person at all. In fact, I've been told by many people that I'm quite the opposite, especially when it comes to all I've been through. However, five years after a miscarriage, three surgeries related to the endometriosis, month after month of excruitiating periods and not getting pregnant on my own or through milder fertility treatments we previously pursued..let's be negative for a minute..I haven't had really any positives in this department. So yes, I did start to believe towards the end that this wasn't going to work. But, after spending lots of time in prayer, I had found peace with it. I knew it was all in God's hands. Well..God certainly delivered, didn't He?
According to when the egg retrieval was, I should hit a new week in pregnancy every Tuesday. Since they were fertilized that day. So, as of today, I am five weeks and one day pregnant. Still very early, and yes, I am still quite nervous and concerned something could go wrong. But, I have to believe that God wouldn't bring us this far only to cause heartache again. The three embryos were an answer to our prayers in a way. We don't know how many implanted yet, but be it one or two or three..we don't have to worry about having leftover ones that we don't know what will happen to them. Of course I have always wanted more than one child, but if this only is a single pregnancy, well that is what was meant to be. Through the years of dealing with all of this, I had come to the realization that just one would be the biggest blessing of my life, so I couldn't ask for more than that. I still feel the same way, but with IVF there's always the possibility of multiples, and of course if we had had the two embryos left over, we would have used them to try for a second instead of donating them. But, this is what was meant to be. And I'm over the moon either way.
Dine at Julianna Deering's "Death at Thorburn Hall"
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