It's National Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Day. I lit my candle at 7pm for my angel, and for a few friends who have also lost little ones as well.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Today is October 15th
It's National Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Day. I lit my candle at 7pm for my angel, and for a few friends who have also lost little ones as well.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Some updates..
Well quite a few things have happened since my last blog, so here goes!
September 27th I ended up in the ER in Clovis where my mother in law lives because I had started passing blood clots, which normally I do have during my period, but it was nowhere near the time of my period so we were concerned that maybe a cyst had ruptured because I was in a lot of pain as well. Clovis is about an hour and twenty minutes from where we live and I was staying with my mother in law for the night since I had an appointment with my Cardiologist that next morning and his office is located just down the street from her. The pain got to be pretty unbearable and as much as I hate going to ER's..my husband and mother in law, and also my mother through text messages (lol) were all bugging me to go. So I went. I don't think I've ever said "I am really glad I went to the ER I really loved it there"..but I did! This hospital was just amazing. They got me in within 15 minutes, I had my own private room, the nurse was the sweetest thing, the Dr was a great guy..and he came in and checked on me periodically which I have never experienced before, I'm lucky if when I go here in Coalinga the Dr says more then a few words to me and then sends me home. They automatically ran blood work, got me in for an ultrasound and a CT scan within an hour. They had me on some good medicine ( I swear I'm not a druggie..just a girl in a whole lotta pain who is sick of taking vicodin)..and they would constantly come in and check my pain levels and just comfort me. It was just a really great experience and I realize I sound totally weird for saying that about an ER..but hey I've had a rough couple of months with some pretty bad ER visits.
So, they did confirm that there is a mass, and the cysts are about 5.6 cm. Which means they have to be removed. I was given a bunch of papers to take to my regular Ob/Gyn, some pain medicine and sent home after about 4 hours..which is a record for me. Usually they keep me there forever because they don't want to wake up the Dr. depending on the hour..so I just lay there forever, and they give me an ibuprofen..wow..I could be doing that in the comfort of my own home. Anyway, I went to my Ob/Gyn a few days later and he decided that surgery is definitely the next step. It will be laprascopic, and I will have about 3 incisions. Hopefully he will be able to remove the cyst, but he said it is a possibility that they will have to take the whole ovary. If that happens there is a possibility they will actually have to open me up. Please pray that that doesn't happen. I know that losing one ovary doesn't mean I can't get pregnant, I know people who only have one who have kids, I just don't want to have a harder time getting pregnant then I already have. He will also be looking for endometriosis and running dye through to check for any blockage or problem areas. I am very anxious for this as I know it will hopefully relieve my pain and hopefully help with getting pregnant, but I'm terrified also. I've never had surgery, always worried that someday I would have to. I think my biggest fear is anesthesia. I don't like the idea of being put to sleep and am scared I won't wake up. I'm sure that sounds crazy, but I think of weird things like that. Surgery is set for November 6th at 7:30 am. So, please pray that I will find strength and that the surgery goes well and I won't lose an ovary. I have been so overwhelmed by the phonecalls, e-mails and cards from friends and family who are praying behind me. It truly means the world to me.
September 27th I ended up in the ER in Clovis where my mother in law lives because I had started passing blood clots, which normally I do have during my period, but it was nowhere near the time of my period so we were concerned that maybe a cyst had ruptured because I was in a lot of pain as well. Clovis is about an hour and twenty minutes from where we live and I was staying with my mother in law for the night since I had an appointment with my Cardiologist that next morning and his office is located just down the street from her. The pain got to be pretty unbearable and as much as I hate going to ER's..my husband and mother in law, and also my mother through text messages (lol) were all bugging me to go. So I went. I don't think I've ever said "I am really glad I went to the ER I really loved it there"..but I did! This hospital was just amazing. They got me in within 15 minutes, I had my own private room, the nurse was the sweetest thing, the Dr was a great guy..and he came in and checked on me periodically which I have never experienced before, I'm lucky if when I go here in Coalinga the Dr says more then a few words to me and then sends me home. They automatically ran blood work, got me in for an ultrasound and a CT scan within an hour. They had me on some good medicine ( I swear I'm not a druggie..just a girl in a whole lotta pain who is sick of taking vicodin)..and they would constantly come in and check my pain levels and just comfort me. It was just a really great experience and I realize I sound totally weird for saying that about an ER..but hey I've had a rough couple of months with some pretty bad ER visits.
So, they did confirm that there is a mass, and the cysts are about 5.6 cm. Which means they have to be removed. I was given a bunch of papers to take to my regular Ob/Gyn, some pain medicine and sent home after about 4 hours..which is a record for me. Usually they keep me there forever because they don't want to wake up the Dr. depending on the hour..so I just lay there forever, and they give me an ibuprofen..wow..I could be doing that in the comfort of my own home. Anyway, I went to my Ob/Gyn a few days later and he decided that surgery is definitely the next step. It will be laprascopic, and I will have about 3 incisions. Hopefully he will be able to remove the cyst, but he said it is a possibility that they will have to take the whole ovary. If that happens there is a possibility they will actually have to open me up. Please pray that that doesn't happen. I know that losing one ovary doesn't mean I can't get pregnant, I know people who only have one who have kids, I just don't want to have a harder time getting pregnant then I already have. He will also be looking for endometriosis and running dye through to check for any blockage or problem areas. I am very anxious for this as I know it will hopefully relieve my pain and hopefully help with getting pregnant, but I'm terrified also. I've never had surgery, always worried that someday I would have to. I think my biggest fear is anesthesia. I don't like the idea of being put to sleep and am scared I won't wake up. I'm sure that sounds crazy, but I think of weird things like that. Surgery is set for November 6th at 7:30 am. So, please pray that I will find strength and that the surgery goes well and I won't lose an ovary. I have been so overwhelmed by the phonecalls, e-mails and cards from friends and family who are praying behind me. It truly means the world to me.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Three Years!
Yesterday was our three year anniversary. It seems like it has flown by..and yet in a way it seems like so long ago. It's been the best three years of my life so far..even considering all that we've been through I wouldn't change a thing in my marriage. I am so blessed to be married to this wonderful man. He truly is the best person I've ever known and I thank God daily that he's mine. I am constantly told how lucky I am because he is such a good man, and obviously I know this. I am so lucky to have someone who has been an amazing support system these past few months, taking care of me, going to my appointments, making sure I'm always comfortable, always my shoulder to cry on and there to make me laugh when I need it, and these days I have needed it a lot. So here's to three years...and many more to come..and I can't wait to see what the future has in store for us :)
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