This is just my little blog on lots of big things. I'm 27 and happily married to a darling man that I'm honored to call my husband. I've been diagnosed with Stage 4 Endometriosis which has put a damper on starting a family. So here you will read about my struggles with my health, infertility, my relationship with my husband, and most relationship with God and how day by day he is guiding me in a life that I'm proud to live.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

National Sibling Day

Well, I'm a week late posting about this, but who's counting. Did any of you know that April 10th was National Sibling Day? I did. Of course, I sent my brother a message wishing him a Happy Sibling Day but I felt it was only appropriate that I dedicate a blog to this day.

I can still remember the day my mom and dad told me I was going to be a big sister. I was six years old. They had just picked me up from gymnastics class, and in that tiny first apartment we lived in I was was showing them some new move I had learned. I can remember them telling me that my mom was going to have a baby. I was so excited. I knew immediately that I wanted a baby brother. I remember my little friends saying "You don't want a sister?". I don't really know why it was that I preferred a brother over a sister. Maybe because I tend to get along better with boys than girls, but back then I don't think I knew that. That's something I've come to realize as an adult haha. I waited and waited month by month in excitement for my new sibling to arrive.

One Tuesday night, while in my regular routine of watching Full House at 8 pm, I remember my mom making some noises every few minutes. I kept asking her if she was ok and she said yeah. I went into the bedroom where my dad was getting ready for work, he worked the night shift. I told him "I think something is wrong with mom". So of course we all headed to the hospital. Because I was only six of course I wasn't allowed in the room, and it was late so there weren't any family members there that could watch me. So I got to be super cool and sit behind the desk with the nurses. I'm sure my mom would disagree with this, but I swear we were only there for like an hour and I remember hearing her scream a few times (Sorry mom, hope that isn't TMI..but hey we all know how birthin' babies goes). Then my dad came out holding this tiny, precious little baby all bundled up and told me "Tiffy, this is your brother". I was in love instantly. From the time they brought him home, I never wanted to leave his side.

Even in the mornings when I had to get ready for school, I would brush my teeth in the living room so I could go and sit next to him on the couch. I loved having anything to do with helping with him. My mom said I was such a "Mother Hen". Being an only child for six years, I don't remember really being lonely. I did have a cousin who was a few years older than me that I spent a lot of time with, and I had friends. Of course my parents were very hands on and we spent a lot of time together. But I had always wished for a sibling.

Then came the years where he was a toddler and could interact with me more. We probably tortured my mom way too much and would then go run and hide from her. We built what we called "Disneyland Parades" out of giant lego blocks, and paraded them around the living room. We spent hours watching Peter Pan and We're Back: A Dinosaur Movie. We counted down the days until our dad was coming home off of cruise. We watched Rugrats and Doug and shared big bowls of popcorn. We colored.

Of course, there came the years where the age gap started to show. After all, what does a 14 year old want to do with an 8 year old? There were lots of fights, breaking of the other siblings belongings, bickering back and forth on car trips, and let's face it, I was older so I got blamed for most of it. It's funny though. Now I look back on these times and feel bad. Like maybe I should have spent more time with him. From the age of 16 when I started dating until about 20, I became very disconnected from my family. I was hardly ever home once I got my license. I was always with my boyfriend at the time and his family. I feel like I missed out on a lot. It's something I still regret so much. But hey, the past is the past and we've all grown closer since.

Especially my brother and I. He's now 20, and I'm 27. He's one of my best friends. We've done so much fun stuff together. Conan O'Brien, Blink 182 Concert, Baseball games, Movies, Wandering the streets of Hollywood, Making fun of our parents (Hey mom, all kids do's out of love!)..and so much more. We text each other everyday. We come up with hilarious things. Some not so nice, some just pretty immature for our age.

When my Dad retired in 2010 and they had to relocate to Tucson, I was pretty heartbroken. Of course because my family was leaving after I had gotten so used to them being here. But I also lost my buddy.

I'm looking forward to a trip to Disneyland in September with my parents and brother. This is something I've been longing for years now. I want so badly to experience another trip like the ones we used to take when we were kids before our lives change drastically in the next few months and years. I think in a way it's kind of a goodbye to our childhood, as my brother will be moving on to a career in the Army and I (God willing) will be starting to raise a child of my own.

One thing that really touches me about my brother, is how excited he is to become an Uncle. I love that he talks about things he wants to do with my future child (He hopes it's a boy so he can teach him to play baseball) and how it's going to be so fun to be an Uncle. When I told him that we will be pursuing IVF, he said "That's awesome. I'm excited".

Our future baby is already so lucky, not only does it have two parents who are longing for their arrival, Grandparents who will be over the moon, but an Uncle who may not show his soft side to most..but I can already tell being an Uncle will bring that out of him.

I miss my brother and everything we used to do together. But I look forward to both of us starting new chapters in our lives. Him with his college and possibly a future in the Army, and me becoming a mother. But I know we'll always be "buddies".

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