Ahh! I'm kind of slacking on my Disney Challenge! I know you're hanging on the edge of your seats, don't worry, I'll catch up! :) Thought I would do a little update on my health. I get a lot of texts and facebook messages asking about it, and I don't like to bombard people with like 800 word texts (unless it's my mom haha), so I know a lot of my FB friends and family read my blog (Which you should become a follower too! I only have like 8!) so I mainly do the updates here. Sometimes on FB too, but hey, I have male friends who I'm sure don't want to hear about my vaginal ultrasounds.
I've been doing the diet they reccomend for Endometriosis patients for close to two months now. I'm not perfect with it, but getting there. The problem is, I'm having a horrible time gaining weight on it. So, I've been kind of down about the way my body is lately. Everyone who knows me knows I've always been thin. But, right now I'm TOO thin. Like none of my clothes fit me. Everything just hangs. I've lost what little boobs I had, and my butt too. Which say what you will, but I've always had a pretty thick booty going on. Definitely was bigger than what it should've been for someone who's 5'3 and a size 2..haha. So yeah, I can't even fill out my jeans anymore. Kinda depressing. I think it's mainly because of cutting out dairy. So, I've been trying to eat a little here and there. I'm trying to avoid having to go on those nasty shakes to help me put the weight back on. My primary Dr lectures me every few weeks when I see her because I seem to just keep losing it and of course they weigh me at every appointment. I think I'm thinner now than when I had mono..and that was bad. I'm at about 98 lbs right now. I know some people are probably sitting here reading this thinking I shouldn't be complaining about being skinny. I understand being overweight has to be hard, but being underweight is too and I am dealing with some major body issues right now. So, say some prayers that I can gain at least 10 lbs soon. Who knows..maybe I will be gaining more than that pretty soon here. Stay tuned on that..if you catch my drift :)
I had some bloodwork done about two weeks ago checking my hormone levels. I think they are totally out of whack. I'm 26, I shouldn't be having hot flashes. Plus, with all the bleeding I deal with every month, something just isn't right. So I'll get the results of that at my next appointment with the specialist coming up in the next few days. The pain on my left side hasn't let up at all, so last Friday I had to go and have an ultrasound done at an imaging center in Fresno. I could tell by the ladies face that was doing it that the cysts are still there. I have to have my ultrasounds done vaginally because of my bladder problem, and usually they don't bother me. I actually prefer to have it done that way of course because of the bladder issue but also because they can see things better that way. So, she used the ever so comfortable wand to go around both of my ovaries, and didn't spend much time on the right side, but about ten minutes on the left side taking all kinds of images. Which leads me to believe they're still there and have probably gotten bigger. Let's just hope not bigger than 6 cm otherwise that means another surgery. I don't think I've ever had much pain after those ultrasounds. I mean yeah they're uncomfortable and all, but man, that night I was in so much pain, I kept telling David "I think she twisted my ovary in a knot". Yeah, I'm overly dramatic and I know it. But seriously, the pain on that side is just getting ridiculous. I'm at a loss of what to do, really. I don't want to go on birth control to try and shrink it. We're in full on baby mode, so we'll have to discuss other options at my next appointment.
One treatment I'm considering is a medication called Femera. It's actually a form of chemotherapy they use in breast cancer patients and has supposeably worked wonders for a lot of endo patients. One girl I've talked to had no symptoms for 8 years. That would just be so amazing for me. It also serves as a fertility drug as well which is awesome. But, it has some really bad side effects for the first few months. A lot of women I've read about on endo message boards and stuff have said they were bedridden for like three months because the nausea and fatigue is so bad and all you want to do is sleep. Now, that's basically been my life for awhile now, and I feel like I'm slowly getting out of that phase and I don't want to take a step back. But I have to think about that is going to eventually give me relief from this disease, and help me get pregnant as well.
I'm also being referred to a urologist to test me for a condition that they think is the cause of my bladder problems. It's called Interstitial Cystitis, and I have all of the symptoms of it but am praying I don't test positive for it. I've researched it a lot lately, and it's a very devastating disease. Unfortunately, since I do live with most of the symptoms, I guess it wouldn't be much of a change, except yet more medications I would have to take and just a lifetime of having to deal with it. I encourage you to google it and read about it for yourself. There are so many silent diseases out there that effect women, even endometriosis is one of them and I wish more awareness was brought to them.
I've become a little frusterated with my current specialist. I feel that he can be kind of condescending at times, and he wants me to take a more "natural" approach to "heal" from the endo. Well, first of all, you never heal from endo. It's chronic. I was born with it, and will always have it. Even when I get a hysterectomy, it won't be a cure because unfortunately I do have it on other organs, like my bladder, bowels and liver. The pain will improve a lot I'm sure, but it's not a cure. He suggested a book for me to read called The Healing Code, and it's all about like positive thinking and stuff like that. I just don't believe in that. Not positive thinking, but that it will cure diseases. I did read the book, and I think it has helped with my anxiety and panic disorder a little bit, and it has helped me relax about getting pregnant. I'm not ordering David into bed on certain days every month and taking my temperature and doing ovulation tests. I want to be relaxed as possible because stress won't help, and probably avoids it from happening. So, I think he thinks I'm not doing things the way I should. I just want a Dr who is more agrresive about treating it. Afterall, he diagnosed me as "Severe Stage 4", and Stage 4 is the worst form of endo. So, you would think he would be more sympathetic when I tell him all the pain I'm in, that a lot of times it's even to painful to have sex, which to me, is wasting time. Who knows how long it will take for this demon inside of me to grow back..we need to take it more serious. He also isn't concerned with the cancer cells they keep finding on my cervix. I mean, he tests me for them every so often, he doesn't just let them go unnoticed, but he sort of acts like it isn't a big deal until they've been there longer. I'm just not okay with that. So, after this next appointment if we don't come to an agreement on things, I'm going to have to try out a new Dr. I've researced another one in Fresno that deals with Infertility as well as Endometriosis, and actually my best friend sees him just for Gyn stuff, but she really likes him. My dream would be able to go to the Endometriosis Center in San Jose though. I've read so many amazing things about the Dr who founded it, but I'm sure the costs are sky high. I read they work with insurance, so I should call and see what we can work out, if anything.
Due to some..ahem..recent changes in our finances where the state is unfairly taking money from my husbands paycheck, I'm probably gonna have to hold off on going to the Fertility Clinic at Clovis Community that I was going to before I was diagnosed. Now that they know what's causing the infertility, they would be able to treat me with the medications and procedures neccessary to help me conceive. It's a totally ridiculous situation and yet another set back for me. But I won't go into details here. That's what venting to my bff and mom is for, right? But after everything I've been through, with the miscarriage, the failed fertility treatments, the surgeries, I think it's finally time to make this our number one priority, and we both agree that it is, but we'll have to take the natural approach for now.
I think that's about all that's been going on lately..I'll have more to post after my upcoming appointment.
Oh, unless you want to hear about the nightmare of getting my wisdom teeth surgically removed? Horrific experience!!! I'll spare you the gorey (literally) details.
Off topic..but..LESS THAN TWO WEEKS UNTIL DISNEYLAND!!! WOO HOO!! So excited! Can't believe David & I are celebrating 5 years of marriage on October 1st. What up to the ones that said it wouldn't last? 5 years and going strong! Can't wait to get away from all the stress lately for some much needed time away..and at the Happiest Place on Eart! With my bff and her hubby too! It's gonna be amazing! Little Mermaid Ride..Here I come!
