This is just my little blog on lots of big things. I'm 27 and happily married to a darling man that I'm honored to call my husband. I've been diagnosed with Stage 4 Endometriosis which has put a damper on starting a family. So here you will read about my struggles with my health, infertility, my relationship with my husband, and most importantly..my relationship with God and how day by day he is guiding me in a life that I'm proud to live.
He's somone who's very near and dear to my heart. He's from a movie that I ADORE more than I can even express. I even got picked BY him out of the crowd of literally thousands during the 50th Anniversary of Disneyland, during a parade, and got to dance with him. It was a Pixar "Dance Party Parade" at California Adventure, and of course I was on the sidelines shaking my groove thing, and he came right over to me, and pulled me over to where they would park each float for about a minute each and dance with the crowd, and we danced together. I might've been the only 20 year old out there, but I was having fun, and that's all that matters. So, you wanna know who it is? Don't get scared...
It's Sulley, my love! This photo was taken on a different trip than I mentioned before, when my husband and I took the kids to Disneyland for Christmas time in 2006. Can you tell I'm excited?
Sulley has such a kind and gentle heart. Monsters, Inc is definitely my favorite Pixar movie. My husband and I argue (not like mean argue lol) over this sometimes. He's a big Toy Story & UP lover, and I am too of course. But I've been in love with this one since it came out. I just think it's great. I even have the cutest stuffed Sulley doll that I always have to sleep with when I'm sick.
My husband and I sometimes call eachother pet names "Boo" & "Kitty". It started way before we were even together. I wore my hair in cute pigtails (not on the top of my head though haha) to work back when we worked at Harris together, and he started calling me Boo. So then everytime I would see him at work I would great him with "Kitty!!". Yeah, we're cute. I love him so. We went to Monsters, Inc on ice one year and it was fun!
The last scene always gets me..I cry everytime. Here is why he's my favorite hero :)
Sulley is the quintessential hero. He's a faithful, record-setting employee at Monsters, Inc. and well-liked by all of his co-workers, especially his best friend Mike. This principled and esteemed furry blue monster soon becomes a father figure for Boo, the little human girl who wanders on to the other side of her bedroom closet. Though he scares kids for a living, off-duty Sulley is eminently warm to Boo and everyone else. In one of several hefty cartoon character voiceovers he did in a short period, John Goodman gets this performance especially right. He aptly conveys Sulley's ability to be both frighteningly forceful and like a big teddy bear who is worthy of Boo's endearing nickname "Kitty."
P.S. CAN'T FREAKING WAIT FOR THE MONSTERS,INC PREQUEL!!! NOVEMBER 2012!!
Has, and always will be, Prince Eric from The Little Mermaid. What a hottie :)
On first examination, Eric could easily be wrongly written off as shallow and superficial. He's young and romantic, and wants what every young man should want in a wife, someone he shares a connection with, someone he loves. That he happens to fall in love with Ariel at first sight is incidental. As he grows closer to the girl he believes is not the one who rescued him, he shows that he has a good heart, and he's willing to let the tide take him where he needs to go. Besides this, Eric is genuinely brave and dedicated, as he sets out to assist Ariel in defeating Ursula, unarmed and in a dinghy, and ultimately defeating the Sea Witch himself.
Strong of character, stoic, but sensitive, Eric is definitely an admirable hero.
Plus, did I mention, he's super hot? My best friend Marcy and I just had a conversation the other day about how some of the Disney Princes are hot. Yes, these are one of the many things we discuss. Pathetic to some, but hey, we're awesome.
This was kind of a hard one to think of. I mean, I've seen all the animated Disney movies, and most of the live action ones. Well, except for those lame direct to dvd ones..you know "Santa Buddies" and all that crap. Sorry, but it is. It's just a quick way to make a buck, and it goes against everything I believe Disney should stand for. I do no think those, or the lame sequels to the animated classics would have been made if my dear Walt were still with us. Anyway..on to the heroine.
I thought long and hard about this. Mom, I think you're gonna love it. Try not to cry because I know what you'll be thinking of when you read it.
My favorite heroine is..Miss Bianca from The Rescuers. The reason I know my mom will love it, is because she literally has a Miss Bianca ornament from McDonalds that hangs on her tree every year, and I've had it since I was like four years old. It's so very cute, actually well made from felt, and classy like Miss Bianca is herself. It doesn't show very much wear and tear, but it's become quite a nostalgic item in our (well, my parents) household and she still won't part with it to let me hang on my own Christmas Tree. Oh well, I guess it's like a part of me is on their tree when we can't be together for Christmas.
The Rescuers was a great movie, one of the first I remember watching on VHS. I adore Bianca and Bernard, and just the whole storyline is very touching. I got to see the United Nations when I was in NYC last summer and I couldn't help but wonder if maybe there was a secret Resuce Aide Society Meeting going on..
Bianca is like me in some ways I think. She's prissy, and well-dressed (Duh..totally like me!) but never shies away from an adventure (Me too) Miss Bianca is a refined rodent (Not so much) who is unflappable in the face of danger (Ehh..I do ok sometimes) She may seem a little frosty, but leaps to the aid of a young orphan who is held captive on a steam ship. I won't ruin the ending, I know not all of you are as hip on the Disney films as I am :) Such a tiny little thing, who does such a huge thing by getting that poor little girl Penny out of a bad situation, all while still being fabulous. Powdering her nose, and spraying herself with perfume. You can be a little hottie and still help save some orpahns ya know! Now if only I could find that cute little hat and coat!
Ahh! I'm kind of slacking on my Disney Challenge! I know you're hanging on the edge of your seats, don't worry, I'll catch up! :) Thought I would do a little update on my health. I get a lot of texts and facebook messages asking about it, and I don't like to bombard people with like 800 word texts (unless it's my mom haha), so I know a lot of my FB friends and family read my blog (Which you should become a follower too! I only have like 8!) so I mainly do the updates here. Sometimes on FB too, but hey, I have male friends who I'm sure don't want to hear about my vaginal ultrasounds.
I've been doing the diet they reccomend for Endometriosis patients for close to two months now. I'm not perfect with it, but getting there. The problem is, I'm having a horrible time gaining weight on it. So, I've been kind of down about the way my body is lately. Everyone who knows me knows I've always been thin. But, right now I'm TOO thin. Like none of my clothes fit me. Everything just hangs. I've lost what little boobs I had, and my butt too. Which say what you will, but I've always had a pretty thick booty going on. Definitely was bigger than what it should've been for someone who's 5'3 and a size 2..haha. So yeah, I can't even fill out my jeans anymore. Kinda depressing. I think it's mainly because of cutting out dairy. So, I've been trying to eat a little here and there. I'm trying to avoid having to go on those nasty shakes to help me put the weight back on. My primary Dr lectures me every few weeks when I see her because I seem to just keep losing it and of course they weigh me at every appointment. I think I'm thinner now than when I had mono..and that was bad. I'm at about 98 lbs right now. I know some people are probably sitting here reading this thinking I shouldn't be complaining about being skinny. I understand being overweight has to be hard, but being underweight is too and I am dealing with some major body issues right now. So, say some prayers that I can gain at least 10 lbs soon. Who knows..maybe I will be gaining more than that pretty soon here. Stay tuned on that..if you catch my drift :)
I had some bloodwork done about two weeks ago checking my hormone levels. I think they are totally out of whack. I'm 26, I shouldn't be having hot flashes. Plus, with all the bleeding I deal with every month, something just isn't right. So I'll get the results of that at my next appointment with the specialist coming up in the next few days. The pain on my left side hasn't let up at all, so last Friday I had to go and have an ultrasound done at an imaging center in Fresno. I could tell by the ladies face that was doing it that the cysts are still there. I have to have my ultrasounds done vaginally because of my bladder problem, and usually they don't bother me. I actually prefer to have it done that way of course because of the bladder issue but also because they can see things better that way. So, she used the ever so comfortable wand to go around both of my ovaries, and didn't spend much time on the right side, but about ten minutes on the left side taking all kinds of images. Which leads me to believe they're still there and have probably gotten bigger. Let's just hope not bigger than 6 cm otherwise that means another surgery. I don't think I've ever had much pain after those ultrasounds. I mean yeah they're uncomfortable and all, but man, that night I was in so much pain, I kept telling David "I think she twisted my ovary in a knot". Yeah, I'm overly dramatic and I know it. But seriously, the pain on that side is just getting ridiculous. I'm at a loss of what to do, really. I don't want to go on birth control to try and shrink it. We're in full on baby mode, so we'll have to discuss other options at my next appointment.
One treatment I'm considering is a medication called Femera. It's actually a form of chemotherapy they use in breast cancer patients and has supposeably worked wonders for a lot of endo patients. One girl I've talked to had no symptoms for 8 years. That would just be so amazing for me. It also serves as a fertility drug as well which is awesome. But, it has some really bad side effects for the first few months. A lot of women I've read about on endo message boards and stuff have said they were bedridden for like three months because the nausea and fatigue is so bad and all you want to do is sleep. Now, that's basically been my life for awhile now, and I feel like I'm slowly getting out of that phase and I don't want to take a step back. But I have to think about that is going to eventually give me relief from this disease, and help me get pregnant as well.
I'm also being referred to a urologist to test me for a condition that they think is the cause of my bladder problems. It's called Interstitial Cystitis, and I have all of the symptoms of it but am praying I don't test positive for it. I've researched it a lot lately, and it's a very devastating disease. Unfortunately, since I do live with most of the symptoms, I guess it wouldn't be much of a change, except yet more medications I would have to take and just a lifetime of having to deal with it. I encourage you to google it and read about it for yourself. There are so many silent diseases out there that effect women, even endometriosis is one of them and I wish more awareness was brought to them.
I've become a little frusterated with my current specialist. I feel that he can be kind of condescending at times, and he wants me to take a more "natural" approach to "heal" from the endo. Well, first of all, you never heal from endo. It's chronic. I was born with it, and will always have it. Even when I get a hysterectomy, it won't be a cure because unfortunately I do have it on other organs, like my bladder, bowels and liver. The pain will improve a lot I'm sure, but it's not a cure. He suggested a book for me to read called The Healing Code, and it's all about like positive thinking and stuff like that. I just don't believe in that. Not positive thinking, but that it will cure diseases. I did read the book, and I think it has helped with my anxiety and panic disorder a little bit, and it has helped me relax about getting pregnant. I'm not ordering David into bed on certain days every month and taking my temperature and doing ovulation tests. I want to be relaxed as possible because stress won't help, and probably avoids it from happening. So, I think he thinks I'm not doing things the way I should. I just want a Dr who is more agrresive about treating it. Afterall, he diagnosed me as "Severe Stage 4", and Stage 4 is the worst form of endo. So, you would think he would be more sympathetic when I tell him all the pain I'm in, that a lot of times it's even to painful to have sex, which to me, is wasting time. Who knows how long it will take for this demon inside of me to grow back..we need to take it more serious. He also isn't concerned with the cancer cells they keep finding on my cervix. I mean, he tests me for them every so often, he doesn't just let them go unnoticed, but he sort of acts like it isn't a big deal until they've been there longer. I'm just not okay with that. So, after this next appointment if we don't come to an agreement on things, I'm going to have to try out a new Dr. I've researced another one in Fresno that deals with Infertility as well as Endometriosis, and actually my best friend sees him just for Gyn stuff, but she really likes him. My dream would be able to go to the Endometriosis Center in San Jose though. I've read so many amazing things about the Dr who founded it, but I'm sure the costs are sky high. I read they work with insurance, so I should call and see what we can work out, if anything.
Due to some..ahem..recent changes in our finances where the state is unfairly taking money from my husbands paycheck, I'm probably gonna have to hold off on going to the Fertility Clinic at Clovis Community that I was going to before I was diagnosed. Now that they know what's causing the infertility, they would be able to treat me with the medications and procedures neccessary to help me conceive. It's a totally ridiculous situation and yet another set back for me. But I won't go into details here. That's what venting to my bff and mom is for, right? But after everything I've been through, with the miscarriage, the failed fertility treatments, the surgeries, I think it's finally time to make this our number one priority, and we both agree that it is, but we'll have to take the natural approach for now.
I think that's about all that's been going on lately..I'll have more to post after my upcoming appointment.
Oh, unless you want to hear about the nightmare of getting my wisdom teeth surgically removed? Horrific experience!!! I'll spare you the gorey (literally) details.
Off topic..but..LESS THAN TWO WEEKS UNTIL DISNEYLAND!!! WOO HOO!! So excited! Can't believe David & I are celebrating 5 years of marriage on October 1st. What up to the ones that said it wouldn't last? 5 years and going strong! Can't wait to get away from all the stress lately for some much needed time away..and at the Happiest Place on Eart! With my bff and her hubby too! It's gonna be amazing! Little Mermaid Ride..Here I come!
Okay, I might get some flack for this one. Because, she's new to the Disney scene. I'm sure I should probably go with one of the classic princesses, but then I wouldn't be telling the truth. I'm a huge advocate for the old Disney movies. I think they should still be introduced to the younger generations, they were Walt's orginials. My future child will definitely know them, as I have a huge collection going already, and yes while I love the films so very much, I mainly collect them so my child will have them. I don't like that most kids these days only know the Pixar films. Which of course, are amazing. But they aren't tied to Walt in any way. But, I had to choose this princess as my favorite because, well, she reminds me so very much of myself..
No, I haven't been locked in a tower my whole life. But I have in a way, been somewhat sheltered I think. Which I don't think is bad. But it does make it harder as an adult, to have to deal with "real life situations". I know that I still have a pretty innocent way of looking at things, and the heart of a child. Which some may look down on, and think I'm immature. I know that I'm not immature, I just prefer to look at things a different way than most. I get excited about the little things in life. I would rather shop in the Disney Store for cool new collectibles than at Macy's. It makes me happy. Everyone should have something that makes them happy. My husband finds it very cute, and of course he likes that I'm so easily amused by things and it doesn't take very much to make me happy.
Rapunzel was excited to touch the grass with her feet, roll down a hill, and see the floating lights. She even says something I always say, "Best day ever!". Not to mention, we both have green eyes, freckles, and fabulous hair :)
I loved that this movie was very reminiscent of the old princess movies, but more romantic I thought. In the ones like Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella & Snow White..they didn't know their prince. They met him once, and that was it. Rapunzel & Flynn (Or Euuuugeeeeene) had time to connect (Ok, only for a day, but still). They learned things about eachother. They fell in love over those things. I loved at the end when he said "You were my new dream" and she says "And you were mine". See..I'm 26 and a movie like this puts me over the moon :) I did think was also pretty comical, adults ("mature" adults) could watch it and still be entertained.
I get teased a lot by my husband and step daughter for how much I adore this movie. I always have to get any Tangled memorabilia that I find. I even have a huge pink body pillow with Rapunzel on it and a matching very large fuzzy Tangled blanket. Don't hate, Sharayah has said "Dang these are comfy!". My side of the bed may look like a kid's, but hey, it makes me quite happy :)
I also loved that I was able to see this movie with my mom. It was very special and reminded me of going to see all the Disney movies in the theater when I was a kid. Oliver & Company, Little Mermaid, Beauty & The Beast (At least 3 times), Aladdin, Lion King..yeah I guess I was kind of spoiled :) I just thought it was pretty neat and like old times :)
I posted a video of one of the songs from the movie that I always sing..I know my hubby secretly likes it. My hair is getting quite long so when I brush it I always have to say "And then I brush and brush and brush and bah-ruuush my hair...". Yes, I'm a dork, but you love it :)
We're heading to Disneyland in less than 3 weeks and you know I'll be on the hunt for some official Disneyland Tangled gear...so far I haven't been able to find a shirt in my size, wonder why that is?
Okay..kind of a hard one. I mean, I have so many, how can I pick just one? I mean there's the obvious, Mickey Mouse. After all "It all started with a mouse..". Then there's the princesses, I've become very partial to Rapunzel these days, but have always been a huge Cinderella fan. Then there's the character that I'm known for loving, Tinkerbell. Which, I must add, I've been a huge fan before she was all over the place. I remember when it was actually quite hard to find Tinkerbell merchandise. But whatever, you can borrow her if you'd like. But there's one character I find sort of underated. Maybe because she's in a live version film. Maybe because, she's not exactly all glamorous and frilly. She's not searching for a prince. But damn straight if you won't take your color changing cough medicine from her at night and be tucked in your beds on Cherry Tree Lane..
Do you know who I'm talking about yet? (I hope you do..if you don't..maybe you should leave)
Since Blogger isn't letting me upload pictures for some reason, I added a video instead. They're better anyway :)
Mary Poppins. She's beautiful. She's magical. She's strict. Girlfriend owns it. I remember being so amazed by this movie at a young age. In fact, I vividly remember trying to clean my room the way the Banks children did, by just a snap of the fingers. Kind of dissappointed when it didn't work. But that never stopped me from believing in the magic that is Mary Poppins. I can still recite the words to every song, and I'll probably be forever on the hunt for that magic bag that she pulls things out of.
I was lucky enough to be able to see Mary Poppins on Broadway (The REAL Broadway, as in NYC..The Great White Way..) in June of 2008 when my hubby & I visited New York. It was incredible. Disney definitely never disappoints, and they go all out in their Broadway shows. Words can't describe how in love with it I was. The ending had me in tears. I won't ruin it in case any of you are lucky to catch it..but it's definitely got a lot of magic going on in the very last scene, you will find yourself asking "How did they do THAT?"
I will always have a soft spot for Julie Andrews. I think she is elegant and beautiful and a true star. I got to see her at Disneyland once, for the 50th Anniversary Celebrations, she unveiled the castle that they had under a tarp for like a year prior because they were adding things to it. It was so very crowded, and I didn't really know everything that was going on. They had some speakers like Michael Eisner, Leann Rimes sang, and then out walks Julie Andrews and my mouth dropped. Immediately tears started flowing and I just remember thinking "That's Mary Poppins!". Of course I know her other movies too, but Mary is what I think of first when I see her. I find her very comforting, and she reminds me of a simpler time in life. I find it very sad that they don't make movies like this anymore, and probably never will. So, it's a good thing I have this huge collection of Disney movies to remind me that there will always be some magic in life..
So I saw this circulating on Facebook today, but decided I would do it on my blog instead. I have to admit..I'm pretty excited about this. Everyone knows I'm a total obsessive Disney Freak. Now maybe talking about some of these things, you'll understand why. So..here's the list. It's kind of late, so I'll start tomorrow :)
30 Day Disney Challenge:
Day #1: Your favorite character Day #2: Your favorite princess Day #3: Your favorite heroine Day #4: Your favorite prince Day #5: Your favorite hero Day #6: Your favorite animal Day #7: Your favorite sidekick Day #8: Your favorite villain Day #9: Your favorite original character (Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Goofy, etc.) Day #10: Your favorite song Day #11: Your favorite love song Day #12: Your favorite villain song Day #13: Your least favorite song Day #14: Your favorite kiss Day #15: The first movie you saw Day #16: Your favorite classic Day #17: Your least favorite classic Day #18: Your favorite Pixar film Day #19: Your least favorite Pixar film Day #20: Favorite sequel Day #21: An overrated movie Day #22: An underrated movie Day #23: A movie that makes you laugh Day #24: A movie that makes you cry Day #25: Your favorite scene from your favorite movie Day #26: Saddest death Day #27: Your favorite quote Day #28: Your favorite theme park Day #29: Your favorite theme attraction Day #30: Your favorite theme park show
Are you ready? I am!
SIDE NOTE: I decided not to turn this into a 30 day thing, rather just a fun challenge with 30 different charachters. It's too hard to keep up with everyday stuff and have to come and remember to do my disney entry tonight. I want to be able to enjoy it and so far I have. So I'm changing it to 30 Days of Disney Photos. No challenge, and the days might be one right after the other..but eventually you will end up with 30 different pictures of your favorite charachters.
Ten years. Wow. I can't believe it's been that long. It definitely does feel that way, but then again, when I think about that tragic day..I remember all the details like it was just yesterday.
I was 16 years old. I would fall asleep with my tv on every night after watching Conan O'Brien. I was doing high school through independant study at the time, so I didn't have to wake up early for school like most kids did that day. Except I did. I can vividly remember hearing my mom on the phone in the other room, but was in that half asleep, half awake mode. It was also not even 7:00 am so I was in that grouchy in the morning teenager mode (Ok, I never grew out of that phase). I was facing the opposite side of the room that my tv was on, but I rolled over and because the channel I had been watching the night before was NBC, the Today Show was showing live footage of the World Trade Center. At that point, only the first tower had been hit and they weren't sure what was going on. I was kind of confused, and well, still half asleep, and I remember thinking it was like a movie or something. So I tried to fall back asleep. A few minutes later I remember my mom coming into my room. She was on the phone with my dad, who was in San Diego at the time for some classes he had to take for his job.
I remember her crying, and saying "She sleeps with her tv on, I don't want her waking up to this". Well, of course after hearing that, I was awake. I sat up out of bed and turned to the tv to see footage of the second plane that had just hit moments before. I remember asking my mom what was happening. She said we were being attacked by terrorists. So, after fully waking up and sitting there in bed watching it, realizing what exactly was going on, I immediately thought of my family back East. My Uncle John, who worked in lower Manhattan. My cousin Richie, a lawyer who worked in one of the towers. My cousin Barbara, also a lawyer who worked in Manhattan. I remember my mom and I trying to call my grandparents in Connecticut, they live only about half an hour from the city. We wanted to know if everyone was ok. If maybe by chance no one had made it in to the city that day. We couldn't reach anyone. All the phone lines were down. I was able to make contact with my Aunt that night via e-mail, and my Uncle had been running late for work that day. He never made it into the city. My cousin Richie worked in the second tower, but got out when the plane hit the first tower. He walked over 80 blocks before he was able to get to a phone to call his wife, who had just given birth to their first child only a few weeks prior.
I remember just being glued to the tv all of that day, and for days after. The horror of watching those towers fall is something that still gives me goosebumps. It has forever changed me, as well as many others. I think before 9/11, I had a very innocent way of looking at the world. I just didn't believe in bad things.
Since the age of 6, after my first trip to NYC, I've had kind of a love affair with that city. It is amazing. It is beautiful. It is strong. It is still all of those things, and so much more. It holds a huge space in my heart, and so does 9/11. I will never forget the way people came together that day. The kindness that people showed towards one another. The way others risked their lives to help others. I think too many people have forgotten, and it shouldn't take another terrorist attack to bring out the goodness in people.
In 2008, I was lucky enough to be able to visit the amazing city of New York with my husband. We did all the touristy things of course, Broadway, Times Square, Statue of Liberty. We had all of them planned out and purchased tickets before we went. But we made sure we set aside a few hours to visit Ground Zero. A lot of people questioned me when I told them we were going. "Why would you want to see that?". "That's kind of morbid, don't you think?". Well, my answer to that is WHY WOULDN'T I WANT TO SEE IT? Why wouldn't I want to pay my respects to the thousands of people who lost their lives? It's just one of those things that I think everyone should see. Especially now, with the beautiful new memorial. It was still a hole in the ground when we were there. It was very surreal. To be standing up in this viewing area looking down at what is, a grave site. I remember having chills, and just crying. A lot of people that were in there were talking very loudly, and were standing over by the window having pictures taken of themselves smiling. I found it disturbing. I don't even know if David and I really spoke words to each other while in there. We were just very solemn, and peaceful.
Today, as I sit here, cuddled up on the couch with my husband, shedding tears with him while watching the memorials and shows, I will squeeze his hand a little tighter and be so thankful that I have someone to love and who loves me. I'm not thinking about financial issues, or health problems, or what I don't have. I'm thinking of what I do have, and grieving for those that lost their loved ones that day who wish they were doing what I'm doing right now with them.
I saw this commercial today during the memorial, and it had me in tears for a few minutes. It's so touching, and it's also one of my favorite songs :) No place in the world that can compare...
Wow, 100 years! I can only imagine if we were lucky enough to still have her here, she would still be making us laugh. I remember first watching I Love Lucy when I was about 8 years old. I remember it was summer vacation, and I of course was up way past my bedtime, and there was nothing on TV that appealed to me. That was back when Nickelodeon only had one channel, and after ten o'clock, it was Nick at Nite. I remember being so amazed by her. She was beautiful, even in black and white. She was funny. She had great clothes. I must have watched every episode that showed in that block, and then I couldn't wait for the next night. So I spent my summer vacation that year, being introduced to what I consider to be the greatest show there ever will be. It's hard to believe it started sixty years ago. It was way ahead of it's time. There's a reason why I can still watch every episode, that I've probably seen over twenty times each, and think it's the most hilarious thing ever. There's a reason why it's a show I turn to when I'm sick, when I'm sad, or just need a good laugh.
I love how timeless it is, and always will be. How amazing is it that I can talk to my mom, or even my grandma about it and they know all the episodes? I love that, and hope someday I can share that with my child. Any child of mine will be a fan of Lucy, that's for sure.
I hope she knew how much people adore her. I think if I could pick anyone famous dead or alive to meet, it would be her. I think she's inspired me in more ways that I know. I think it's because of her, that I would rather receive the compliment "You're funny" than "You're pretty". I guess I'm privileged, and I've received both, and she did too. But I love that my husband thinks I'm funny. He always tells me "You're such a comedian". I'm glad I can bring laughter to those I love, and I thank her for that. I thank her for always being my go-to girl..and she always will be. I thank her for probably inspiring all of my crazy ideas. For introducing me to fake eyelashes, and making red hair cool. I thank her for why I'm so in awe of Hollywood and I keep track of the number of celebrities I've seen just like her and Ethel did, except I'm nowhere near 100. I thank her for inspiring my fashion..and boy do I love fashion. I wish I would've pursued that when I was younger. It's probably the first thing I see when I notice someone, and I love the dresses, hats, and shoes she wore in that show, they are divine. Like I said, so ahead of their time. Now if only we could bring that style back. I guess in a way, I kind of am. That's the "Lucy" in me..
I even have my very own Ricky (Ok, he's not a band leader, but whatever..)..and my own version of Ethel too!
"Well, are you??"
I love how she says "Turn me loose!"
Me & Lucy in NYC, June 2008 :)
I'm so excited to say that in October when we take our anniversary trip to Disneyland, I get to go to the Hollywood Museum. They have a special exhibit about Lucy and it's there until November..I can't wait!
Old school pic, right? Who's that hot blonde anyway? :)
My hair color and length may have slightly (okay, okay TOTALLY) changed since this pic, but I don't care. It's one of my all time favorites. I'm having one of those, I'm totally blessed to be married to this man days. I heard this song earlier, a song that has always reminded me of David, I think that's what's started my I'm totally blessed to be married to this man day. Don't get me wrong, everyday I know I'm totally blessed..but there's some days where I feel it so deep in my soul I have to shout it from the rooftops..or..if you live in Coalinga which isn't quite the same as shouting it from like a balcony in Manhattan..you can just blog about it :)
We saw a movie on Saturday. Crazy, Stupid, Love. It stars my boyfriend (shh) Steve Carell so of course we had to make time to see it. What a great movie! It's a very complicated story I guess you could say, but very heartfelt and romantic. I walked out of the theater holding my husbands hand a little tighter. So grateful that we have overcome obstacles like the couple in the movie (not adultery though, just to clarify haha) and came out of it a better husband and wife than we ever have been. There's no doubt in my mind that my husband loves me with everything he has, and he knows that I completely adore him. He told me that the other day, actually. "I love how much you adore me" is what he said. Ok, so are you guys puking yet from all this sweet stuff?
Here's the song..by a great band called Muse. Whom, I might add..I loved WAY before they became famous for singing the song in the Twilight movies. :)
Let's conspire to ignite all the souls that would die just to feel alive...
Wow..a month has gone by so fast! We've been so busy with stuff, I figured I should just cram it all into one blog post :)
So..let's see. Last I posted we were getting ready to see U2. AMAZING concert! HORRIBLE sunburn. It was such a different experience than the first time. We didn't have to line up at 4am. People weren't trampling us to get in. The band seemed to be more into it. There were a few stupid people down in the inner circle. Stragglers who push their way in half an hour before the show starts and stand right in front of us. So annoying. I actually got physical with one girl..lucky for me she was so high on weed she didn't try to defend herself. Haha. Anyone who knows me knows it's totally out of character for me to put my hands on someone. But..you don't come between me & Bono. We had a really great view, and they all walked by us again quite a few times. I'm still waiting for him to pull me on stage though..maybe next time. Here's some pictures..
We're halfway there! We left Fresno around 3:30 am that morning..this was when we hit the grapevine. Still 13 hours 'til showtime, but I'm smiling!
Wristbanded and ready to go in!
We look pretty good for being in line for about 8 hours..and still have about 2 hours 'til showtime.
After fighting off some stragglers..
So..I also mentioned I got a horrible sunburn. The worst of my life. It was overcast, and I had on leggings, a long tanktop, a shrug sweater and ballet flats on. Not a lot of skin exposed to get burned, you would think. The tops of my feet, the part of my arm not covered by my shrug, my lips (which have never burned before), and my face were all a victim to the LA overcast, and about an hour of sun that actually came out. I did apply sunscreen once the sun started to peek through..but it must've been too late at that point. I woke up the next morning in the hotel room with feet so swollen I could barely walk, and couldn't put shoes on. My lip felt like it was half a mile from my face, and of course my face was burnt to a crisp. I was pretty much bedridden for 3 days, couldn't walk, could barely talk and I always get sick when I get a sunburn. Like upset stomach, nausea, all that fun stuff. I'll never go out without sunscreen again, I swear. I would post pics but I don't want you to throw up in your mouth :)
We've also been super busy with decorating our house. David put in the wood flooring while I was recovering from surgery. He also painted it. We purchased a BEAUTIFUL new couch the first week of June and finally were able to pick it up the last week of June. So since then we've been moving everything back into the living room and office. Trying to find all the stuff my hubby stashed when he emptied the rooms out to install the floor has been no easy task! We bought the most darling curtains and curtain rods, and I'm amazed at how different our living room looks. Baseboards will be coming soon, and touching up a few areas with paint, then I can hang pictures and stuff on the walls again. I'm SO excited about all of this. I've always loved interior decorating. I love how David and I agree so easily on things too. We've agreed on everything so far, from the shade of wood the floor is, to the color of the curtains. He's amazing :) I took a few pics of the new curtains and rods with my cell phone, but it does them no justice. The lighting is weird, so I'll have to take some with my digital camera soon.
Of course I have to include seeing Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows Pt. 2 at the midnight showing in my list of "How I Spent My Summer". So much fun! I went with my friend Marcy who is a HUUUUGE Harry Potter fan. I'm kind of a newbie, I've seen all the movies but haven't read the books yet. I loved this movie though, it was awesome. We even sported Harry t-shirts and glasses. Nerds!
My parents and brother came to visit last week. It was so great to see them. My brother is staying with us an extra week which I'm happy about. We had fun while my parents were here, had lots of nice dinners together and lots of time to visit. We loved seeing them and are already looking forward to our trip to Arizona for Thanksgiving!
This past weekend we also spent a lot of time with David's family. His dad got married in Cambria, it was a great weekend. David's sister, her husband and their four daughters came from Los Angeles, they recently had their fourth daughter February 28th, and this was the first time we met her. She's amazing! I instantly fell in love :) She's the calmest baby, and just loves on everyone. I think I hogged her for the majority of the weekend, but I don't feel bad. Haha. His dad's wedding was beautiful, the venue was amazing, and we got to meet Cheryl's family for the first time as well, it was very nice. The venue they had the wedding at was GORGEOUS!! Cambria Pines Lodge..I reccommend anyone visiting the Central Coast check into this place. They have adorable little cottages to stay in, quite a few different gardens that you walk all different cute little pathways to get to the gardens through..just sooo beautiful. One of the gardens is an organic vegetable garden, and the restaurant serves them in the salads and they were so delicious! We're planning on a weekend trip for David's birthday in September, we loved it so much. We got there Saturday morning for the rehearsal and for lunch with everyone. After lunch, we actually met up with my parents and walked through some shops in Cambria. They left that afternoon, and David and I ventured over to San Luis Obispo. Oh, how I love it there. We both do. I think we could walk around there all day. I love all the little shops. We even found a yummy sushi place (we've pretty picky about sushi and tend to stick to certain places because we've ended up being disappointed) and had a beautiful dinner and some wine. I love good food, good wine, and great conversation with my husband. I love feeling like we're the only two people there because we're so into eachother and what we have to say. I love that after six years together, and almost five years of marriage we still have those moments. After dinner, we went back over to the Pines and met up with David's sister and her family. They were having dinner in one of these cute little cabana things that they even installed heaters in. So lovely. We definitely had more wine than we needed that night, but great conversation with her, and I ADORE her. We don't get to see eachother much, and mostly communicate through texting, but when we do get together we always have fun..and err..wine.
The wedding was on Sunday afternoon and it was beautiful. We had great weather all weekend. I was so worried because the weather websites had said the high would be 62 all weekend. I had purchased two great dresses for the weekends festivities and definitely wanted to rock them in some warm (not hot) weather. Well, I was able to. The reception went into late afternoon and was a lot of fun, great food, great company and great music. After it wrapped up, David and I changed into more comfortable clothes (Did I mention he was the best man? And super handsome?), said our goodbyes, and headed to the water. We parked on top of a hill, and walked down a ton of stairs to what we thought would be a "beachy" area. It wasn't, but that's ok. It was all rocks and stuff, but it was fun. We climbed and hiked over them and found a little tide pool area to chill at for awhile. I love the water. But not as much as my husband loves the water. He's so cute. He also broke his flip flop right as we began the rock hike back to the car. Uh oh. He made it though. After that, we had dinner at a cute little diner and headed home. Sigh..another fun weekend that passed too quickly. But I love that we have plans for more of those weekends. Here's some pics..
One of the cute little gardens at the Cambria Pines. This was the afternoon of the rehearsal. I adore this dress from Forever 21..and these shoes that I've only worn once and have had for like three years.
Look at this HOTTIE I found!!
Makes my heart MELT!
SOLE MATES :) Chillin' in SLO..
Wedding Outfit. Again, an amazing Forever 21 find!
Don't I look good with a baby on my hip? :)
Amazing photographer Misty Dameron took these next two photos..
I'm so lucky to have such an amazing Dad. I don't really need one day out of the year to be thankful for him. I'm thankful for him everyday. I think almost everyday, I'm reminded sometimes in little ways, sometimes in big ways, just how much my Dad changed my life.
He may not have given me life, but he's made my life better in so many ways. So in a way, he did give me life.
I was five years old when my mom met him. I remember the first time I met him. He played with me a lot, I quoted probably every line from "The Little Mermaid", even brushed the "dinglehopper" through my hair, and showed off my PJ Sparkles doll that earlier that day I screamed bloody murder for in the store, it was an expensive doll that my mom couldn't afford, but I think out of embarrassment from all the looks she was getting, I got the doll. I remember jumping up and down on the couch and saying "Are you gonna marry us??". Aww. I think back to that little girl sometimes, and how much I wanted a real dad. I'm not going to sit here and bad mouth the biological dad (I don't even really like referring to him that way), but he in no way has been a good father figure. Drugs and alcohol have played a huge part in his life, as well as mental illness. So, I like to think that God sent my Dad to my mom and I, He knew we deserved so much better.
So on June 2, 1990, we became a family. I remember a lot about that day, but mostly how excited I was to have a Dad. Plus, I got an awesome bonus family. Grandparents, Aunts & Uncles..and A LOT of cousins! I had so many little girls my age to play with! Also, the next summer, I got a baby brother!
I hear stories about girls that grew up with either no father figure, or just no father at all and my heart really aches for them. I realize how different my life could have turned out, and I thank God for blessing me.
My Dad is hilarious, hard working, loving, compassionate, honest, handsome, and still so young at heart. Well, he's not old in the first place, but you know what I mean :) Not to mention, he served our country for over twenty years, and did a damn good job at it.
Thank you Dad, for everything you have done, and still continue to do for me. I love you more than you'll ever know.
We're only three days away from our second U2 concert! So surreal to me! I remember about 7 years ago, about a year before David and I started dating. We were both working at Harris Ranch. I heard him giving another employee a hard time because he had never heard a U2 song. (Weird, right?) I walked by and said "U2 is my favorite band, you need to be introduced to their music". David looked at me with lit up eyes. He said "You're favorite band is not U2!", I said "Yes it is, I swear! I've been listening to them since I was a kid, my mom loved them. We used to listen to their tapes all the time on my way to school". This is true. I have very vivid memories of hearing "With or Without You", "Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For", and my personal favorite, "Pride" (a song that still brings me to tears to this day) in the car. She had the Joshua Tree album on cassette tapes, and we would rock out in her "Z" on the way to school. Thanks, mom :) Plus, hello..you're talking to an Irish girl here. It's in my blood. You can't be Irish and not worship U2, it's like in the rules or something :) I don't think he could believe it. Maybe because of my age at the time, I was still 19 I think. (YES, this was like over a year before we dated) After all, U2 is the biggest band in the world. No, seriously. Google it. Maybe it's where we live or something, but I've yet to meet another U2 fan. At least not the same kind of U2 fan I am anyway. It was something we bonded over, and we became closer friends after that.
When we started dating in 2005, we took alot of road trips. Mostly to the coast. Sometimes San Francisco, and quick trips to Disneyland. Always listening to U2 on the way and discussing their different songs and what they meant to us. I remember in November 2005 (about 2 weeks before he proposed actually), we took our first trip to Disneyland together. At the same time we were in Anaheim, U2 was performing at the Staples Center about 45 minutes away in Downtown Los Angeles. We had briefly looked at tickets. The only ones we could get were in the nosebleeds since they had been on sale for months I'm sure. We decided that if we were ever lucky enough to go we wanted to be as close as possible. So we spent a magical two and a half days at Disneyland instead, can't complain there. It was 4 years before they toured again, and we bought tickets the morning they went on sale in March 2009 for their concert at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena on October 25, 2009. I couldn't have been more stoked. My favorite, ok OUR favorite band..and we finally had tickets. I never really thought my dream of seeing them would come true. Especially of being lucky enough to see them with someone who appreciated them as much as I do and who would enjoy it as much as I would. They don't tour that often, so I tried to remain hopeful during those 4 years that it would someday happen.
Finally, that day in October arrived. We had General Admission tickets. Which means, you're on the floor, but it's first come, first serve. You want to be close, prepare on spending allllllll day in line. Which we did. Got there at around 4:30 am. Oh what a day it was. But totally worth it. As soon as U2 came out, I lost it. I couldn't believe I was in the same room with them. Even though I was surrounded by 95,000 other people too. I cried through the whole concert pretty much. I know, sounds lame. But that's how much they mean to me. I can't explain how much their songs means to me, how much it means to me that my husband and I share this love for them, how we bond over their songs, fell in love listening to their songs, and got to experience it together. We were so close, Bono and The Edge walked right past us many times as we were up against the catwalk part of the stage.I was tempted to try and touch his shoe, but didn't want to look like a psycho. Haha..I know you're already thinking I am. It was just an amazing night, despite the long wait, and the fiasco of when they opened the gates to get in and I almost got trampled on the way in. I definitely came out of that concert with major battle wounds. Not to mention a wicked sunburn. Yeah, this time we're bringing comfy chairs, umbrellas for shade, and a cooler of snacks.
There's one song in particular that is so important to myself and David. It's called Ultraviolet. U2 hasn't performed it on any of their tours since like, 1997 I think. When I looked up the setlist for that concert, I saw that it was on there and was so excited. I couldn't believe it. It wasn't a song they ever released as a single, so I figured it was a slim chance they would sing it. David told me that he used to listen to this song when we were first dating, and it reminded him so much of me. He struggled alot in the beginning of our relationship with insecurities, and if he was doing the right thing getting into a relationship while still healing over things that happened in his previous marriage. We had alot of long talks that would last sometimes until very early in the morning. I would just listen to him, and my heart would break because it seemed like he was struggling so much. He's struggled alot with his relationship with God. He knew he wanted to be with me so badly, but didn't know if his kids would be upset with him, or if God would be upset with him because he was in the middle of a divorce that he had tried so hard to make work for his children. I stood by him through all of it, trying to offer my advice. Telling him that what we had was so amazing, I think it would be a huge mistake to not give us a chance because we're so great together, plus I truly believe that God brought us together. But that story is for another blog post. One day he got in the car, took a trip to San Francisco, walked around all day and said he had a long talk with God. He says God told him that I was the one. That he was doing the right thing by being with me. After hearing this song on the drive back, he told me it made him realize that my love is "the light bulb hanging over his bed". That I was lighting his way, helping him accept that it was ok to be with me, it was ok for him to be happy, and that God wouldn't be angry at him for having a failed marriage. I really think he had a hard time believing that someone could love him so much. I know he had a hard time letting me in at first, and I kind of was the same way. I had been at work all day at Harris Ranch the day he was in SF, and had no idea he had taken this little trip. He called me that night after I got off, and asked me to come have dinner with him at his place. I was terrified thinking he was going to possibly end things, or say he needed time to think, something of that sort. But it was the total opposite. So of course..the rest is history :)
I posted a video of U2 performing this song at the concert we went to. My husband and I held each other during this song, and I just kept thinking how amazing that moment was. Here's to our next concert..and not that we need reminders of how we fell in love, or how much in love we are with each other..but it's amazing to experience with him. My husband, my best friend, my fellow U2 groupie :)
Sometimes i feel like i don't know Sometimes i feel like checkin' out I want to get it wrong Can't always be strong And love it won't be long...
Oh sugar, don't you cry Oh child, wipe the tears from your eyes You know i need you to be strong And the day is as dark as the night is long Feel like trash, you make me feel clean I'm in the black, can't see or be seen
Baby, baby, baby...light my way (alright now) Baby, baby, baby...light my way
You bury your treasure Where it can't be found But your love is like a secret That's been passed around There is a silence that comes to a house Where no one can sleep I guess it's the price of love I know it's not cheap
(oh, come on) Baby, baby, baby...light my way (oh, come on) Baby, baby, baby...light my way
I remember When we could sleep on stones Now we lie together In whispers and moans When i was all messed up And i had opera in my head Your love was a light bulb Hanging over my bed
Baby, baby, baby...light my way (oh, come on) Baby, baby, baby...light my way
Ultraviolet... [repeat 4 times]
Baby, baby, baby... Baby, baby, baby... Baby, baby, baby...light my way [repeat 3 times]
Baby, baby, baby...light my way
At our last concert. Exhausted, but still pretty gorgeous we are :)
Tomorrow will be one month since surgery. What a month it has been! I never expected my recovery to be this hard, but it can only get better from here, right? Let's hope so! It's definitely been the hardest recovery yet. Not that I'm like a surgery expert or anything, but this is my third one, and my second for endometriosis. The first one feels like a cinch compared to this. But then again, that one lasted an hour, and they basically just burned the endo off, which ended up being the worst thing for me. This one was four hours, they lasered off ALL the endo, cut the nerves to the uterus, resurfaced the uterus, a hysteroscopy to remove the pre-cancerous cells, and a D&C to totally clean out the cervix. Whew! Yeah, I'm a champ and you know it. :)
The incisions are healing beautifully I'm proud to say. The bleeding is still an issue, I'm not happy to say. The good thing about it, is that it stopped for a few days, and then my period started on time. As much as it sucks to be bleeding again, not to mention the horrible cramping because everything is still healing, it's good that my cycles weren't messed up, which they told me would probably happen. I love it when Dr's are wrong about that kind of stuff :) So, even though it sucks to be dealing with it again, it's good because this way I'll be able to chart my cycle and know when I'm ovulating and all that fun stuff. I was worried I would be out of whack for awhile and not be able to tell when all of that was going on. I'm pretty in sync with my body and can tell when I'm ovulating. But, being the control freak that I am, I'm stocked up on those fancy little ovulation tests so we can get this baby train moving.
I was able to have a nice date night with the hubby before my period started. We are huge sushi lovers and went to our favorite place in Fresno and ate way too much. But it had been awhile since we had sushi, so it was fun to go overboard a bit. We watched "The Hangover 2" afterwards and of course laughed our bootys off. We also bought a new couch! Yay! I'm so excited about the changes we're doing to our home, and my hubby is so cute doing all of it. He says he's "getting the house ready for our baby". Aww..he's the bestest. It was very exciting to pick out a couch, my first time ever! David already had a new couch when we got married and I moved in. Unfortunately it was very light colored, and microfiber. It had a good run, but it would only last so long with a family of four, plus a cat. Yeah, no animals allowed on the new one. We bought that spray so to keep them off so it can stay nice. Plus it's dark, so I don't want to be vaccuming hair everyday. We should be able to pick it up next week, so totally looking forward to putting my living room back together, and redecorating. I've already bought some cute stuff to hang on the walls.
We stayed the night at my mother in law's house Saturday night since we planned on doing our big grocery shopping Sunday afternoon. That didn't work out too well. I had been cramping off and on for the past few days, and Sunday it got pretty bad. We were out to lunch at Red Robin before heading to Winco, and it started getting so bad, we ended up leaving the restaurant and heading home. Not long after we got home, the flood gates opened and hasn't stopped since. I started getting scared again because the bleeding has just been so heavy, it doesn't seem normal to me. Plus, having anxiety doesn't help. I lay there and think "Omg, I'm going to hemorrhage to death". So far it hasn't yet, lol. David's been taking good care of me of course. My weight seems to be stuck around 100 ever since surgery. I was about 107 before, and the morning of surgery was right at 100. Ever since the highest I can get it up is 102. My appetite just isn't what it was. So, he's been making me eat lots of healthy stuff, and forcing me to drink those yucky (I mean..yummy) nutritional supplement drinks that they say tastes like a chocolate shake. Um, yeah right. In-n-Out would disagree I think. Along with taking tons of vitamins, hopefully I start to get my strength back, and gain a few pounds too.
Aren't we cute? Can I just add how PROUD I am of my man? He's lost like, 30 lbs since January. Work it!
I've always liked Gaga's songs, but never really understood her. But lately, during the promotion of her new album, I've seen her on a couple talk shows, GMA last week, she was super amazing. I've started enjoying her... I love everything she stands for. She knows she dresses crazy - but it's because she said she lives in the middle of the theatre world and reality all the time. More power to her. She encourages people, stands up against bullying, and accepts everyone! She talks about her personal struggles with learning to love and accept herself and wants her fans to do the same. To forget everything or everyone that has ever made us feel insuperior, or told us we weren't good enough, or weren't beautiful enough. She wants us to forget whatever painful past we might have, and move forward loving ourselves, and living for ourselves and only ourselves. Her interview on David Letterman made me laugh out loud. She's so witty and has no fear. Now I do understand her. She's living her life how she wants to, not caring what other people think and making fashion statements wherever she goes, no matter how out of this world they may be. She's a lover of NYC just like me, and the words she speaks about that amazing city are exactly what my heart feels.
Not to mention, I think she's beautiful..and has a rockin body.
Warning: If you're grossed out by talking about blood and female "stuff"..don't read this. Lol. I'm not too graphic or anything, but this is the stuff you WON'T see me talking about on Facebook. I'm blogging this whole crazy journey, so nothing will be left out. Including the stuff some may find TMI. If you know me, you know I'm not shy about discussing the TMI stuff :o)
So, yesterday marked three weeks since surgery. Gosh, I feel like it's been SO much longer than that. My incisions are healing really well, I think as soon as the glue they used to stitch me back together comes off I'll be buying that lotion to help fade scars. They're already shrinking pretty good, I just am paranoid about having any kind of scars on my stomach. Let's face it, who doesn't want to have a cute tummy during bikini season? The scars from my first surgery healed pretty darn good, they were unnoticeable, but these ones were larger, and there were five, instead of three which is what there were last time. Just don't want to take any chances since my knee surgery.."Oh they'll be totally gone in a few months". Yeah, my ass. You can still see them, and I really don't like it. Anyway..enough about scars. Wanna hear about blood? I knew you did!
I've been bleeding since about 5 days post-op. Yeah, did you do the math? I've been bleeding for over two weeks now. It wasn't really heavy bleeding, just steady I'd say. Well, about a week ago, it started getting really bad. Like, within an hour was completely soaked through my pj pants, and onto the sheets. Yeah, I ruin everything. I was having to change my pads (Which are HUGE by the way) like twice an hour. Just miserable. So, David called my Dr the next morning, since that little situation happened at about midnight, and he said it was normal. When I had my post-op appointment a week after surgery, I had only been bleeding for 3 days. I did ask him how long it would last and he couldn't say. "It's different for everyone. You had a lot done, and a lot removed, so it could be weeks". Ok, fine. I just didn't think bleeding that heavily was normal. I mean, I have horrendous periods, and I don't think I've ever bled that much at once. I could literally feel it just pouring out. (Feeing light headed yet?). So, even though David explained to him exactly how bad it was, how I was going through pads so quickly, how I stained everything, he still said it was normal. He said that if it got worse, then I needed to go to the ER. If it doesn't slow down, then I needed to make an appointment, and also until I'm done bleeding I need to be on total bed rest. So fun. As if I haven't been stuck in bed enough lately. Well, it's slowed down, but it's still heavy I'd say.
I've already had two incidents of passing out since surgery. I swear I'm a Dr's nightmare. The first one was like a week after surgery, I don't think it was due to the bleeding, I was in the bathroom and just started feeling dizzy. I was able to feel it coming on so I got to the floor before I fell to the floor. Thank goodness David is a light sleeper, he heard it and came and got me. Then I got lectured on why I went and got up to the bathroom without him. Yeah, he's good like that. He was waking up with me every time I had to go to the bathroom (yeah, even in the middle of the night) to accompany me to the bathroom since I was having a hard time getting around, and also because I do have such a history of fainting. The second time was last Thursday night. I wasn't so lucky with being in control that time. I wasn't even feeling dizzy or anything before hand. I got up out of bed (I had been asleep) to go to the bathroom. Went pee, stood up to pull my pants up and started getting that "every thing's fuzzy" feeling, and the next thing I remember is seeing David's legs in front of me. I had totally blacked out that time. I have the bumps and bruises to prove it. It was just so weird. I don't even remember David carrying me back to bed, or anything.
I didn't even bother calling the Dr to tell him about it. After all, I did just get my license back in February, after having it taken away for over a year because of another fainting episode. It does only happen when I'm bleeding, or really sick. It's not a neurological issue, that's already been determined by two different neurologists. But I know they still have to report it to the DMV if you go to the Dr for it. Losing so much blood, and being anemic, I know I don't need to be seen for it. Should I even be writing this on here? Ok, no one turn me into the DMV please :)
I did kind of break Dr's orders and get out of the house on Friday. We had to go to Fresno to pick up Sharayah and I decided to go. We're in the process of re-doing our living room, and I wanted to go look at this couch David and I have been eyeing for a few weeks. We've been looking at it online, so I wanted to see it in person. After only like ten minutes of walking around the furniture store I felt like crap. I just have no energy, and can't even get up and walk around for a few without just feeling so weak and dizzy. Yes mom, I've been taking my iron and other vitamins too :) The bleeding is just taking a huge toll on me. So, I'm not breaking the rules for the rest of the week, and I'm hoping the bleeding is either gone or barely there by the end of the week since David and I have a date night planned. It's been awhile since we've had one, and he said he wants to "treat" me for being so strong and getting through surgery and also to celebrate what will hopefully be big changes in my life. In our our lives. He should be "treated" as well for being such an amazing caretaker. I don't know any other husband who would change their wife's catheter bag, and then remove it without getting grossed out. At least he said it didn't gross him out..haha. Also, having to get up with me constantly to go to the bathroom, to change my pad, to go to the store and buy pads pretty much in bulk (Well he's always been good about that though, I'm lucky, I know some guys refuse to do that), and even having to bathe me. I tell him "How can you possibly find me hot after all this gross stuff??", he says "How can I not find you hot after seeing what a fighter you are?". Cue the "Awws". I know, right? Yup, I'm a lucky girl!
So here's to the flood gates closing soon (**fingers crossed**)..and The Hangover 2 and sushi this weekend! Oh sushi..how I've been craving you for so long. I will be ordering tons of you and stuffing my face.
**I meant to post this a few weeks ago but didn't get around to finishing it, I'm sure you've all had your fill of the Royal Wedding, but here it is again..the way I saw it..
....LOVED them driving off in this vintage Aston Martin....what a fun thing to do!
What an absolutely wonderful day!!
London was fantastic, I honestly could have burst with pride..and I'm not even British! No one does a wedding like the Royal Family with all the pomp and pageantry, it was amazing! A wonderful atmosphere and such great support from the crowds. Wedding fever was everywhere and London looked fabulous!!
Kate's dress was stunning....elegant, stylish and perfect choice for her. She looked radiant, happy and relaxed all day long, quite amazing.
Princes William and Harry looked so handsome in their uniforms...my tears started the second they left Clarence House and didn't stop all day! Tears of happiness though really, it was such a joyful occasion.
Pippa Middleton was the most stunning Maid of Honour...and the little flower girls, bridesmaids and pageboys were gorgeous.
Westminster Abbey was a beautiful setting and the service was perfect.
They really are a couple in love, it was so apparent, I can't wait to see what lies ahead of them and I think Kate, Duchess of Cambridge is going to be a huge asset to the Royal Family.
The British monarchy lost something when Prince Charles and Diana, Princess of Wales divorced and they lost even more when she died. For me, yesterday that something came back and I think many felt a renewed love of and enthusiasm for the Royal Family. Long may it continue.
I don't know why, but the theme song of Mary Tyler Moore has been stuck in my head for days. I finally realized, it has to be there for a reason, but why? Well, I remember being wheeled into the operation room last Monday, of course tears flowing because I had just said bye to my husband and I knew he was standing at the end of the hall watching until I was pushed through those double doors. So, then being in the OR and seeing all the big lights and tools laid out sent me into a panic attack. The nurses and anesthesiologist were all very sweet though. Of course they started to put the stuff in my IV to relax me and I started trying to think of happy thoughts, my usual routine before I finally fall asleep. Usually I think of Disneyland. This time I started thinking of all of my favorite old tv shows. I Love Lucy, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bewitched & The Golden Girls. I remember singing the theme songs in my head and thinking of all the funny moments. The last one I remember thinking of was the Chuckles The Clown episode of Mary Tyler Moore. They just don't make TV shows like that anymore. I have to clarify though, as much as I loved Mary..Rhoda was always my favorite. Come on, those hats and scarves? A girl after my own heart. Anyway, I started thinking how that theme song kind of applies to my life right now. Then I was out. Ok..so surgery details..
The surgery lasted almost four hours. He found alot of endometriosis, and classified it as a Stage 4, the worst kind. Yeah, not fun to hear. He said it was completely covering my left side. Some on the right, but nothing close to the left. There was a large cyst on my left ovary. The pictures were gross, but when he showed me the one of them cutting into it, endometriosis just poured out everywhere. Pretty gross. I also had alot on my bladder, which hopefully explains my need to pee every ten minutes, and the urinary pain I get that feels like a UTI but tests always come back negative. My bowel was pretty bad too, it was starting to attach to the back of the uterine wall. Hopefully that explains alot of my tummy troubles. He also had to do a hysteroscopy, and basically suck out the layer on my cervix that had the pre-cancerous cells. He also cut nerves to the uterus, so that hopefully my pain levels during my period will go down. I know some of this sounds like bad news, but he was able to remove all of it. So that is great news.
I had a really hard time in the recovery area after surgery. Intense pain, and was unable to empty my bladder. Which resulted in me screaming in pain and probably scaring other people in there. They kept telling me that there wasn't that much urine in there, then finally a different nurse came in and did a catheter and pulled out 500 of something..I don't know it that's milliliters or something, but she said that meant it was totally full. She took the cath out, and an hour later the same thing happened. I was able to get a tiny bit out in the restroom but that was it. So they did a cath again, and pulled out the same amount. This time they left it in, and I had to keep it in for two days. I never thought I would be begging to have a catheter, but it was definitely worth it. Not only did it help all that pain and pressure, but it was nice not having to get up to go to the bathroom for the next two days considering I could barely walk. My amazing husband has been such a great nurse. I'm sure emptying my catheter bag for two days wasn't too appealing for him. How did I get so lucky?
So, I'm now nine days post op. Still pretty sore, but definitely nothing like it was. I am having period like bleeding, which they say is normal and can't tell me how long it will last, could be a few weeks. Oh joy. But, he sees no reason why I can't get pregnant now. He said that it was pretty much impossible before because my ovaries couldn't have been working right, with that large cysts and all the adhesion's everywhere. But my tubes are open, and aren't scarred which is great news. He wants me to try a more natural approach to healing, as far as diet, exercise and reading a book called "The Healing Code" which I just downloaded on my Kindle and saw it had a lot of excellent reviews. I have to admit I was skeptical at first, but I also am thrilled at not having to put more hormones in my body. After all, they didn't work the first time. I had my first surgery in November 2009, he said from then til now, the endo should not have been as bad as it was. I'm also contemplating acupuncture. So here we go..as soon as I'm fully recovered, we're 100% focused on getting pregnant. I don't know why, but I have a feeling..it's finally our time.
I am... Someone who is always trying something new... Someone who is always homesick -- for my parents and baby brother. Someone who loves intensively and keeps the good moments in my heart. Someone who can't live without my family. Someone whose hobbies include photography, painting and seeing good movies.Someone who thanks God every morning when she wakes up that my husband is MY husband. He tells me he's never had someone show him so much love before..and I feel the same. (Well..aside from my parents, but it's a different kind of love :). He is my light in a world that can be very dark.
